Friday, May 20, 2011

Death Rituals

<iframe src="http://www.oneminutecoupon.com/iframe/12583/" width="554" height="610" frameborder="0" allowtransparency="true">You must have a browser that supports iframes.</iframe>      Death is inevitable and universal. Everyone in every culture has to deal with the termination of life, and everyone has different ways of handling this and celebrating the death of someone, or celebrating the life that they once had. There are different types of burials, different types of ceremonies, etc for different religions and different cultures. Cultures are fascinating and different rituals are ones worth looking into.

      One of the many interesting cultures is that of the Spanish. They have a festival called 'Day of The Dead'. This is a festival takes place on November 1st and 2nd (which, in the Catholic faith are also important days revolving around death, which will be discussed later). November 1st is normally celebratory of infants and younger children that have passed away, so it is called  Día de los Inocentes, meaning 'Day of the Innocents' or  Día de los Angelitos 'Day of the Little Angels'. November 2nd is to celebrate adults and the elderly passing away, hence the name Día de los Muertos or Día de los Difuntos which generally translates into 'Day of the Dead'. Some traditions that occur on these days are building a special alter honouring the memory of a loved one. Furthermore, they bring their loved ones their favourite foods, drinks, and other favourite items and deliver them as gifts to the grave of their departed loved one. The celebration is one of the life that their friend of family member lived, and celebrates their memory rather then grieving their loss. The Day of the Dead festivities originally date back to a time where they celebrated for an entire month dedicated to "Lady of the Dead" who is a God they believed in. The idea of visiting graves and celebrating their life is in the hope that their deceased loved ones spirit will come be with them.
This is an example of the type of alter they would make when celebrating Day of the Dead


        Another place that has a very interesting death ritual is Jamaica. In Jamaica there is what is called the Nine Night. This means that the celebration of ones death doesn't occur until nine nights after the person's passing. The reasoning behind this time lapse before celebration is to give the spirit time to begin their journey to God. Previous to the Nine Night, there is often a ceremony similar to the Christian funeral, letting the spirit know that it is time to go. If they do not have this ceremony, the spirit doesn't realize it is "their time" and they are said to stay behind and haunt the living. Today in Jamaica, the celebration of death is very similar to the Christian way, however there are still many African rituals that are added. A few interesting examples would be that they carry the corpse from their house feet first. They also stop the clocks, cover the mirrors in the house, and they rearrange the funeral so that if the spirit returns they will not be familiarized with the place. It is also a custom to pass a young child back and forth across the tomb in order to prevent the spirit from harming them. Furthermore they were black - which is traditional - but also purple and white. As you can see they take the Christian funeral and add their own twist to it.



      As I previously stated, November 1st and 2nd are also important days in the Catholic Faith regarding death. November 1st is a sacred day in the Catholic faith that is celebrated around the world, especially in historical Catholic countries. It is called 'All Saints Day'. This day is to remember the Saints that gave up their lives for us. It is similar to other days you might celebrate, such as Veteran's day. It is a day to honour those who have passed and gave up their lives so that we live better lives.


This is an icon for All Saints Day and depicts many Saints

The following day, November 2nd, is a day to celebrate the passing of loved ones. It is a day to remember the ones you have lost that you miss. The idea of this celebration comes from an ancient Pagan Festival of the Dead. The idea behind that celebration was that the spirits who passed away would come back for a meal with their loved ones. The same idea is carried on November 2nd, which we call All Souls Day. It is also similar to Day of the Dead, in that they make an alter for their loved ones. On All Souls Day, the alter normally is adorned with marigolds (the traditional flower representing death), an offering of food is normally placed on or around the alter, as well as a candle. There are more individualized things as well, memorabilia that the deceased would like, as well as pictures of them, etc. As you can see, this day incorporates multiple other festivals into their own Catholic celebration.



There are many different celebrations of loss in many different cultures, and everyone celebrates and mourns differently. These were just a few of the most interesting ceremonies and celebrations that give you a broad idea of all the many ways one could mourn and remember loved ones.

Friday, April 29, 2011


Stages of Grief


  1. Denial — "I feel fine."; "This can't be happening, not to me."
    Denial is usually only a temporary defense for the individual. This feeling is generally replaced with heightened awareness of possessions and individuals that will be left behind after death.
  2. Anger — "Why me? It's not fair!"; "How can this happen to me?"; '"Who is to blame?                         Once in the second stage, the individual recognizes that denial cannot continue. Because of anger, the person is very difficult to care for due to misplaced feelings of rage and envy. Any individual that symbolizes life or energy is subject to projected resentment and jealousy.
  3. Bargaining — "Just let me live to see my children graduate."; "I'll do anything for a few more years."; "I will give my life savings if..."
    The third stage involves the hope that the individual can somehow postpone or delay death. Usually, the negotiation for an extended life is made with a higher power in exchange for a reformed lifestyle. Psychologically, the individual is saying, "I understand I will die, but if I could just have more time..."
  4. Depression— "I'm so sad, why bother with anything?"; "I'm going to die... What's the point?"; "I miss my loved one, why go on?"
    During the fourth stage, the dying person begins to understand the certainty of death. Because of this, the individual may become silent, refuse visitors and spend much of the time crying and grieving. This process allows the dying person to disconnect from things of love and affection. It is not recommended to attempt to cheer up an individual who is in this stage. It is an important time for grieving that must be processed.
  5. Acceptance— "It's going to be okay."; "I can't fight it, I may as well prepare for it."
    In this last stage, the individual begins to come to terms with his mortality or that of his loved one

This 5 stages originate from the Kubler-Ross model.

Everyone deals with grief differently, and everyone stays in different stages for different periods of time. Some stay in depression and never make it to acceptance, some go through all of the stages quickly, and some do not even realize they are going through them. Everyone hurts, and everyone has to go through these stages in order to fully deal with loss.

Tonight - FM Static

I remember the times we spent together
All those drives, we had a million questions
All about our lives
And when we got to New York everything felt right
I wish you were here with me,
Tonight

I remember the days we spent together,
Were not enough, and it used to feel like dreaming
Except we always woke up,
Never thought not having you here now
Would hurt so much

Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are 
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I remember the time you told me
About when you were eight
And all those things you said that night
That just couldn't wait
I remember the car you were last seen in
And the games we would play 
All the times we spilled our coffees
And stayed out way too late

I remember the time you sat and told me
About your Jesus, and how not to look back
Even if no one believes us
When it hurts so bad, sometimes
Not having you here

I sing
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are 
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight

I sing
Tonight I've fallen and I can't get up
I need your loving hands to come and pick me up
And every night I miss you
I can just look up
And know the stars are 
Holding you, holding you, holding you
Tonight